HIPAA DISCLAIMER

HIPAA DISCLAIMER

Writings in this space are purely fictional and have no resemblance to real patients or their families.There is no hospital such as the one talked about, it's a combination off all the hospitals I've worked in. The scenarios described are all made up from TV shows like House and Dr. Gee. Most of the scenarios described are are from dreams that I had the night before and then embellished upon. If you think that you know me, you probably don't because I'm not a real nurse, I only play one in the schizophrenic delusions that I'm being medicated for. I don't work in a hospital and never have, regardless of what else it says on this blog full of bald-faced lies.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Pants on the ground


I don't know about you dear reader, but I suspect you probably feel the same as I do on this subject.

Guys with their pants half way down their three-letter anatomy is what I'm talking about.

This fool came in with left flank pain with nausea/vomiting x 2 hours. Tells me first off that he needs a work note because of this "shit." Cool, he has a job. Okie dokie on the work note, dude!

But, first I need you to give me a urine specimen and while you're doing that I'll go get the good drugs. BTW, If you are unable to provide said specimen I have to insert a catheter to obtain it. You have 15 minutes to provide.

I just love that spiel, hee hee.

He unwraps himself from the sheet as I turn to walk out of the room. Thump! Freaking moron has fallen flat on his face, pants down to his round and brown.

I want to say I was sympathetic and helped him get up. I would have but I was outside in the hall laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. Seriously, it was a full-fledged Depends moment, folks.

He dusted himself off, sauntered off to the bathroom with pee cup in one hand and pants in the other, unfazed by what had just occurred.

I'm placing bets that Mr.PantsOnTheGround has kissed the floor once or twice before.
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment