An Average Day

Just a few observations from a crazy day:

If you and your visitor both weigh over 300 pounds, don't sit at the foot of the stretcher next to each other. As you found out, they tip over.

If you bring your child in with fresh bruises on her face and arm, don't bother calling the nursing supervisor to complain about the nurse who called the sheriff. The supervisor and the nurse will have a good belly laugh over that one.

If you came in with the chief complaint of blurred vision, don't sit on your hall stretcher reading a paperback novel for all the staff to see. None of our doctors will give you Vicodin for the "eye pain" and we'll all be talking about your dumb ass.

Don't come in via ambulance with the chief complaint of "too weak to text." Your butt is going straight out to triage where you will be the last patient seen today.

If you bring in an X-ray of your broken ankle that you state was taken an hour ago at the walk in clinic and you're asking for enough Percocet to get you through the week because you're flying to Chicago tomorrow, at least make sure the date stamp on the enclosed CD isn't from 2 years ago. Dr. Crotchety was not amused.

If you're a 70 yr old lady, please don't keep coming up to the nurse as she's running by with her arms full and tell her for the 10th time that your husband has something to tell her. She doesn't care, the triage is done, the foley is draining, he's already gotten blankets, more blankets, slippers, ice chips, fluffed his pillow, gotten another pillow and, NO!, his IV is not bleeding. Have a seat, let us do our job, we've taken care of many patients with urinary retention.

Please, don't walk into a room with active CPR and ask to speak with the doctor running the code. The doctor might just be a little busy and he doesn't care that your mother has waited 30 minutes to get the results of her hand x-ray.

Thanks to our charge nurse today for buying us Pizza, you rock!