Hello Bad Girls

It's time for ACLS again and this video will help you study. That is if you can stop starring at Barry's very tight white pants.

Little Miss Snark

Okay, who heated up last nights fish in the microwave? Now the whole place smells like Bush Gardens is hosting a chlamydia clinic.

And while I'm at it, next time the sign on the bathroom door says OUT OF ORDER, don't go in there and see a man about a dog. Thanks to you, nobody can eat in the break room until they call the plumber, and that won't be until Monday.

And bitch please, quit wearing that nasty perfume to work. You really think that shit smells good to sick people, let alone your co-workers who have to put up with it?

Bleh: It's one of those days.

Spider Bites and Head Lice and Diarrhea, oh my!

You would think that Super Bowl Sunday after 1600 hours would be slow in the ED.

After a sort of slow day in triage and spending some time restocking stuff that hadn't been replaced since the Reagan administration, I wandered back to the main to hang out and goof off a bit, something that never happens in the suck-you-dry-and- write-you-up ED. Mid laugh, the charge tells me that the medic called and said that 6 adults from a group home had just checked in with n/v/d. I laughed, right, that's hysterical. I turned around and glanced at the tracker and yep, there were 6 new names up on the board each with a number next to them 1/6, 2/6 etc. Me and the other triage nurse get to work getting them triaged and back to the fast track area that has 10 beds in little cubes all next to each other. I actually felt bad for the fast track nurses for a minute.

The sixer done, I take a minute to run to the potty and when I return the medic tells me that he put 2 kids in my room with head lice. I peek in and sure 'nuff, there's 2 pre-teens sitting in there with long bushy hair, one of them in my chair. It wasn't that big of a deal, but when the mom pulled out a ziploc baggie with lice she'd captured I was like what the hell is wrong with people?

Topping off the day was Spider Bite boy. He couldn't even walk, his knee was so red and swollen. So were both his thighs. He proudly showed me all the "bites" like they were badges of honor. Yeah, dude, you're more than likely going to get a work note.

Finally, it's 1855 and in comes a guy in his mid 60's complaining of vomiting x 1 with weakness. I wheel him in and get a set of vitals which suck. His color isn't too great, either. He's there less than 30 seconds and comments that he'd feel better if his indigestion would just go away. Crap. Why didn't you say so? I call to the back for a bed and tell them I'm coming now. We get an EKG and he's having a STEMI.

Guess who didn't get home in time for Big Love?

Just a small sampling of my day:

Stupid #1: Per wife: He's had n/v for an hour. It won't stop. He always gets an IV and medicines for this. He has chronic UTI's since childhoold d/t some congenital thing.
Rachedy: That emesis looks like pure water, has he been drinking water?
Stupid #1: Yes, he has, his throat is dry!! He needs to be admitted, we don't have insurance and no money to buy antibiotics!
Rachedy: He's being discharged, there is no indication to be admitted.
Stupid #1: WHAT? We always get admitted. We're leaving this dump and going to the big house downtown where they always admit him and give him medications for his pain and nausea.
Rachedy: Bub-bye.

Stupid #2: I have mucus in my throat and I can't stop coughing, I'm wheezing. I had a UTI last month and an ear infection. When I cough I have chest pain.
Rachedy: I see, do you have asthma? Right now your lungs are clear.
Stupid #2: Yes! I'm sick, I don't want to be blown off, I know how this works, I'm a nursing student at the technical school.
Rachedy: Okay, but all your tests are negative. Your urine is clean. Your ears are clean, they are discharging you.
Stupid #2: I want to talk to the manager!
Rachedy: Okay, but I have to put you in the hall, I'm sorry. The manager will be with you shortly (when they get back from a meeting and lunch and afternoon break and then another meeting followed by the ice cream social that none of us have time to attend.

Watching the look on her face while pushing her into the hall while the code is rolling into her room: Priceless.

Meet the New Boss

It's been a few months since all the old doctors were fired, er, replaced by a new physicians group. Needless to say, I miss Dr. Crotchety. I miss Dr. DoNothing who only ordered Motrin and a Sierra Mist for every complaint except a head bleed or STEMI.

The new director, Dr. Silverfox, thinks he's the Sultan of the ER. His shenanigans even have the biggest ho's I work with complaining. He'll walk by you and reach out and touch your back or comment on your make-up or hair, make comments like, "Thanks for bringing me coffee this morning." Ugh, he's so disgusting.

One newly graduated doctor who is on staff has a bad habit of peeing in the staff toilet and not flushing. All the red bull he drinks makes for a huge pot of frothy yellow piss that stinks. I hate him because he does a full-court press work-up on everybody, bar none.

I prefer to spend my time in triage these days. At least I know what I'm dealing with out there.

Got a box of T-Shirts?

The usual suspects shuffled in and out of my triage room with the sniffles, cough,
aches, some worse than others. One lady who reeked of menthol cigarettes and had a nose that sounded like it was full of rotting grits whipped out an old white, now grayish tinged stained tee shirt in a size 3x and blew a huge honker into it while I was typing her up. She then stuffed it back into her backpack.

Really, skank? Having been sick myself all week, I seriously had to excuse myself before I threw up all over my keyboard.

Sick

I'm not one to get sick with stomach stuff but this week has been a week from hell with vomiting and some diarrhea. After vomiting every 15 minutes the entire night on Sunday, it briefly crossed my mind how I was going to get to the ED. Scratch that, I would never go to the ED for N/V/D. I mean, really, I'm not elderly and I'm not under the age of 5. Besides, I don't want to be laughed at by all my co-workers.

What I don't get is how these people manage to even get off the couch to come in. I could barely walk down the stairs, let alone go back up them until night time. So, I did the sip thing, took some Zofran/Immodium and tried to ride it out. It's now Tuesday night and I still feel sick. WTF?

Making it worse was one of my crowns starting hurting like a real bitch and I had to drag my sick ass out to the dentist today. After some adjusting to my ever increasing mouth full of porcelain, I came home and tried to eat a little something. No go. Seriously, I can't eat anything without getting this over whelming urge to hurl. Then, to top it off, the cat has diarrhea. Nice.

I've got one more day off then it's back on Thursday. I might just have to call in, even though every time I have called in, it's the same excuse of N/V. All lies, maybe I better come up with a better excuse.