I was doing lunch coverage and had only gotten a cursory report from the nurse who was going to eat. She said the lady in 4B was up for dispo and to get rid of her as soon as the chart came back. In the meantime, I'm in the room next door triaging an ambulance when the doctor comes to the door and says, "Rachedy, I ordered a GI cocktail on 4B, if you could just give it to her and tell her it's for the parasites, she can go." I had no idea what he was talking about, but as soon as I finished with the triage, I went into 4B and handed her the meds.
She had jet black hair like it had been dyed it with shoe polish. There also was a black scarf around her head that appeared to have about 10 years worth of dandruff on it. She looked totally nuts to me but I told her I was giving her the parasite meds and then I gave her the discharge instructions. There was some drama about what the name of the med was, but her daughter convinced her it was all good and they left after I got her $1700 in one-dollar bills out of the safe and gave it back to her. Seriously, all those dollar bills could have kept me at the Diet Coke machine for a long time, but I digress.
Fast forward a week. I hear loud screaming coming from the back where the isolation room is. I mean LOUD! Screaming that the parasites were eating her alive, " Help, help, help!" My curiosity was piqued and I mosied on down there.
The charge nurse is holding a large Coach purse away from his body and everybody is looking into it with their noses pinched shut. The crazy bitch had dropped a few loads into the purse and brought it in to prove that she had parasites. (Which she didn't).
I mean, seriously, she ruined a perfectly good Coach purse!
1 comment:
hopefully it was one of those fake ones from China that sell for $16. That would be acceptable....
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