I should have know that I'd drawn the short stick in triage when the other nurse told me she took the 2 yr old screamer. I picked up the chart and it said "got bad tattoo last night and foot is hurting." Okay sister put it up here, let me look at it. I unwrapped it and Geezus, Mary and Joseph, her left foot was gigantic. She said that her friends boyfriend, who had just gotten out of prison, did the tattoo last night and now she couldn't walk. No shit. Her foot was as big as her head and red with a huge streak going up her leg. And, she was 2 weeks postpartum.
Not to be outdone, dude comes in and tells me he has a lump on his rectum that is killing him with pain. He claims that he had "accidentally" sat on his dogs bone, the biggest one that they sell on Fosters and Smith, and it got stuck somehow. When he tried to pull it out, it ripped part of his rectum with it. Come on dude, really?
A yuppy mother type brought her 15 yr-old in to be checked, mother states that the daughter told her she had gotten raped the day before. The mother states that she knows the girl was raped because she checks her all the time to make sure she is still a virgin. Yeah, that's the ticket, mommy. Your kid is a virgin and I'm Mother Theresa. I don't know about you, but I guess I was a bad mother because I never did this to my teen daughter when she was in high school.
I just love triage. Really, no really.
2 comments:
She checks her all the time to make sure she is a virgin? Eeeewwwwwwwww!
Trippy mother, non-virgin daughter, hmmmm...
Sit on this dog bone, will ya ?~! Please, give me a break.
prison tattoo = fail
wv = decksfe hehe
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