Random

So I was in triage the other day and checked in this really good looking guy with knee pain, he'd hurt it playing basketball. I'm looking at his info and realize he's only 16 and by himself. So, I tell him he'll need to have his mother or another adult to be seen. He said his mom is coming and he goes back to the waiting room. A little bit later I hear incessant honking coming from the drive-thru and get up to see what's going on. This lady had pulled up right to the sliding glass doors within an inch, talking on her cell phone and honking like hell. I was confused, because nothing seemed wrong until I saw my knee kid talking to her at the car window. She's gesturing and yelling, so security goes out there where she rips him a new one, saying she'll come back after sonny boy is seen because she doesn't have the time right now. After explaining to her the deal, she proceeds to back her car up, narrowly missing a few kids who were walking around the car. She peels rubber and parks in a handicapped spot and comes into triage, demanding sonny be seen ASAP. I felt bad for the kid, he was sweet and cute and probably embarrassed by his bitch of a mother. Need I tell you how all that worked out?

Crazy dude comes in via EMS, had been found pretending he was The Hulk at McDonald's. We throw him in the rubber room where he proceeds to rip the locked door right off it's hinges. Ketamine 400mg IV later (yes, you read that right), he's out for 10 minutes, wakes up and gets himself out of 4 point leathers and picks up a 6 foot tall medic, bites his hand and throws him up against the counter bent over backwards. Said medic is now out on medical leave. After tackling him down with the po-po, he gets tubed, propofoled and sent packing to the ICU. I heard those beatches had reduced his propofol to do a neuro check and he woke up, ripped everything out and ran out of the ICU. Good times.

A young guy came in, found non-responsive in a parking lot. No ID on him, Temp was 107.3. We cool him off and CT him, drug screen negative and ship him up to the ICU. He woke up the next day gave them his name and his mothers phone number. Seems that he lives in a locked down psych ALF that he had escaped from. His mother says he lives there because he has an alter personality named Ed, and Ed is a serial killer. Nice.

And now, a song from our sponsor. A little Pink Floyd to identify with:

The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path
The lunatic is in the hall
The lunatics are in my hall
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon
The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'till I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon